Lesbians and sham marriages
In lesbian relationships, "marriage in name only" has always been a sensitive and heavy topic. When one party decides to enter into a formal marriage with a person of the opposite sex, it often means that the world of the other party begins to crumble. This choice may seem like a compromise to family and social pressures, but in reality, it is the most profound challenge to an intimate relationship. Why can't many lesbians accept their partner's decision to have a marriage in name only? Behind this is not just the loss at the emotional level, but also involves identity recognition, a crisis of trust, and a complete reconstruction of the future of their lives.
In a stable lesbian relationship, both parties usually hope that they are the core of each other's lives. If one party chooses a marriage in name only, it means:
Lowered emotional priority: The social identity of the partner in a marriage in name only (such as "lawful spouse") will occupy an important position, while the real partner can only be hidden.
Treated as a "secret": Those in a marriage in name only often need to conceal their same-sex relationship, making their lesbian partner feel unacknowledged and even like a "mistress".
Long-term psychological depression: Being forced to cooperate with the partner's life in a marriage in name only may lead to low self-esteem, anxiety, and even self-doubt: "If they really love me, why can't they make it public?"A marriage in name only may initially be just to "deal with the family", but the real situation is complex:
Social pressure may change the choice: Over time, partners in a marriage in name only may gradually accept "turning the fake into the real" due to factors such as family, children, and property.
Blurred emotional boundaries: Living together for a long time may cause the two parties in a marriage in name only to develop dependence on each other, and they may even develop feelings, which poses a threat to the original lesbian relationship.
Risk of deception: If a partner in a marriage in name only conceals the real situation (such as childbearing, property distribution), it may cause the lesbian partner to fall into a passive position and even be exploited.Many lesbians choose not to have a marriage in name only precisely because they hope to live a more authentic life. If a partner chooses a marriage in name only, the following contradictions may arise:
Inconsistent values: If one party chooses to compromise and the other insists on coming out, it may lead to fundamental differences.
Affecting the shared future: A marriage in name only involves many aspects such as legal, family, and economic issues, which may hinder the two from jointly planning their lives (such as buying a house, adopting children).
Fragmentation of social identity: Those in a marriage in name only need to maintain a "double life", while the lesbian partner may not be willing to cooperate with this hidden state for a long time.Real-life dilemmas: A marriage in name only cannot truly solve the problem. Many people choose a marriage in name only to "put their parents at ease", but in fact:
Parents may urge childbearing: After a marriage in name only, the family may further pressure them to have children, leading to a more complicated situation.
Legal risks: Same-sex marriage may not be protected by law, and a marriage in name only may involve disputes over property, inheritance, etc.
Increased psychological burden: Concealing one's sexual orientation for a long time may lead to depression and anxiety, which in turn affects the intimate relationship.
