Pitfall Guide: 6 Types to Avoid in Romance

In the diverse and inclusive dating scene of the lesbian community, we all hope to meet sincere, like-minded partners and walk through beautiful journeys hand in hand. However, there are also people who drain our emotions and cause harm. Be cautious of the following six types and protect your emotional well-being.

1. The Chronic Critic: The "Invisible Killer" of Emotional Manipulation (PUA)

Aesthetics and ways of handling things are inherently diverse. Moderate suggestions come from care, but "chronic critics" make belittling others a habit. They put down your clothing choices, negate your social decisions, and gradually make you feel inferior in the relationship. Some even take pleasure in the "sense of superiority" they get when you’re in a vulnerable position. Over time, you might fall victim to PUA, developing the wrong belief that "I don’t deserve her," which erodes your sense of self-worth. Being with such people is like suffering from a slow emotional poison. Resolutely stay away and embrace relationships where you receive positive feedback and respect for your uniqueness.

2. The Empty Promiser: Weaver of "Empty Checks"

" I’ll transfer money to you every month," "You won’t have to worry about anything with me," "We’ll achieve financial freedom in three years"... These sound like wonderful promises, but if they only stay words, they’re just illusory fantasies. Relationships and life in the lesbian community require mutual investment and joint efforts from both sides, not one person creating mirages with empty talk. True commitment means building a future through actions, not leaving you waiting and disappointed in hollow promises. When you meet such a "promise-maker," don’t be the one "waiting for empty words" — turn around in time to find someone who walks the talk.

3. The Ambiguity Addict: The "Emotional Riddler"

Sweet interactions during the ambiguous phase are a beautiful start to a relationship, but some people use this "unspoken tension" as a shield, enjoying intimacy while refusing to give the relationship a "title." Evading commitment at key moments essentially means they crave the ease of ambiguity but are unwilling to take on the responsibilities and promises of being a partner. If you stay stuck in this "Schrödinger’s relationship" for a long time, you’ll be trapped in a cycle of expectation and disappointment, draining yourself emotionally. Cut your losses and find someone willing to "break the ice" with you and commit clearly.

4. The Boundary Ignorer: Disruptor of Emotional Order

There’s a clear line between a "girlfriend" and a "female friend." However, those lacking a sense of boundaries, despite knowing their own orientation and relationship status, still engage in ambiguity with others — sharing private daily details, holding hands, putting an arm around shoulders, sharing personal items... This is not only a betrayal of their partner but also a disruption of emotional order. Relationships need "exclusivity" and "a sense of security." Being with such people will recklessly drain your trust. Stay away as soon as you recognize them, and protect the "boundary sanctuary" in your relationship.

5. The Orientation Confused: Passersby in the "Emotional Shelter"

The lesbian community is not a "refuge for the frustrated," yet some people, due to disappointment with the opposite sex, curiosity, or even treating sexual orientation as a "fashion label," see you as a "backup option." They don’t truly identify with or commit to lesbian relationships; they’re just taking shelter temporarily, and will most likely return to heterosexual relationships in the future. Getting entangled with such people will leave you heartbroken when they abandon you after you’ve given your true feelings. Distinguish whether the other person is a "genuine companion," and don’t let yourself become a victim of their emotional exploration.

6. The Taker: Disruptor of the Emotional Balance

Whether you identify as P, T, or any other role, relationships in the lesbian community are based on equality and mutual support. However, "one-sided takers" rely on their role to only enjoy care without giving anything in return: making you handle all daily chores, letting emotional support flow only one way... Relationships require mutual commitment. A long-term imbalanced relationship will leave the giving party exhausted. A good partner supports each other. When you meet someone who only takes, don’t drain yourself in the name of "tolerance." Stay away to find a balanced emotional connection.

When lesbians seek love and belonging, being alert to these six types of people is a way to take responsibility for your own emotions. May everyone meet sincere companions with clear boundaries, who commit mutually. In the diversity of love, may you all gain steady happiness.