A Must-Read Guide for Lesbian Cohabitation
Heard there’s a "lesbian love trilogy" going around in the community? Get a cat, watch the ocean, and then — move in together. The first two are sweet, romantic preludes, but cohabitation? That’s the real "love training" that tests your relationship. So many of us go from "Babe, come cuddle" to "Can you just leave me alone" — and it usually happens because we weren’t ready. This guide I’m sharing might help you avoid the little (and big) troubles hidden in daily life’s small stuff.
Before Moving In: Give Your Love a "Stress Test"
Don’t rush to haul your luggage to their place just because you’re head over heels. You need to "test the waters" first! The most reliable way is to take a short trip together, or stay at each other’s places for 3-5 days in turns. This isn’t about picking fights — it’s about uncovering problems early. If you two can end up in the silent treatment just arguing over choosing a hotel or where to eat on a trip, then cohabitation fights (like who does the dishes or whether to set the AC to 26°C or 24°C) will only be bigger battles. Smart girls solve the issues you argue about on the trip first, then talk about moving in.
I remember a pair of friends once argued so much about "the GPS said turn left, but she insisted on turning right" that they turned around halfway through their trip. After calming down later, they realized it wasn’t about who was right or wrong — both of them were just too stubborn. They worked that out before moving in, and it saved them a lot of trouble later.
3 Things You Must Argue Through First
1. Money: Be Open About It to Avoid Hurt Feelings
How many people have been tricked by the saying "talking about money ruins relationships"? The truth is, what actually hurts relationships is when you think you should split everything 50/50, but they think the higher earner should pay more — and you both pretend not to notice the disconnect.
Instead, talk openly about these options:
Strict 50/50 split: Split rent, utilities, and other shared costs equally. No one owes anyone anything.
A shared "piggy bank": Each month, both of you put some money into a joint account. Use that for shared expenses, and keep the rest of your money for your own use.
If one earns much more: The higher earner pays a bigger share (like 70/30). But be clear — does that "bigger share" include things like clothes or makeup? Don’t let her buy a lipstick later, and you end up thinking it should come out of the joint account. That’s a disaster waiting to happen.
After all, some people grow up being taught "save every penny," while others are used to "spend when you need to." Laying your spending habits on the table is way better than rolling your eyes when she buys a bag, or her calling you "cheap" for saving money.
2. Housework: Don’t Let Love Turn Into Resentment
No one wants to end up feeling like a maid in their relationship, right? Dividing housework takes a little smarts.
Try these ideas:
Split by area: You take care of the living room and balcony; I’ll handle the kitchen and bathroom. Each person is responsible for their own "zone."
Hire help: Spend 200 yuan a month on a cleaner who comes twice. Use the time you save to cuddle — that’s way better than giving each other the silent treatment over who has to mop the floor.
If your partner loves doing housework: Count your lucky stars! Don’t nag them about "which cloth to use for wiping the table."
I know one amazing couple who use "rock-paper-scissors" to decide who does the dishes. The loser grumbles a little while washing, and the winner hands them water or wipes their sweat. Their little bickering actually turned into a cute part of their routine.
3. Even When You’re Close, Keep a Little "Space" for Yourselves
Cohabitation isn’t 24/7 "package deal." Even the sweetest candy gets too cloying if you eat too much.
Set a "date day" every week. Even if you live together, sometimes stay at a hotel for a night, or take a short trip nearby on weekends. Rituals like this really help fight the "boring routine" of daily life. More importantly, keep your own "me time": When she goes clubbing with friends, you can stay home and watch a show; when you want to write quietly, she shouldn’t keep leaning over to ask "What are you doing?"
I’ve seen so many couples fight over "Why do you hang out with friends so much?" But it’s not that you don’t love each other anymore — it’s that you forgot: before you fell in love, you were two independent people.
Three Final Heart-to-Heart Tips
Financial independence is a bottom line. Don’t let "who pays the rent this month" become the spark that starts a big fight. First, make sure you can support yourself — then building a home together will feel solid.
Fighting is totally normal. The key is to think after a fight: If she gets mad at you for leaving things messy, maybe she grew up with her mom nagging her about that. If you’re annoyed she watches shows too loud, maybe you just need quiet to work. Being willing to adjust your habits for each other is way more precious than "never fighting at all."
Don’t be scared of the small stuff. Her hair clogging the drain, you forgetting to take out the trash and attracting bugs — compared to cuddling each other in the winter bed, or the light she leaves on for you when you work late… those little annoyances don’t matter at all.
At the end of the day, lesbian cohabitation isn’t some "romantic continuation" of getting a cat or watching the ocean. It’s just two brave people deciding to turn everyday life into something beautiful, together. Get ready, bring your true heart, and I hope you both find your own sweetness in the little moments of daily life.
