Five Pitfalls Lesbians Should Avoid When Courting

Pursuing someone you like should be an exciting process, but putting in too much too soon or using the wrong approach can end up pushing the relationship backward. This is especially true when lesbian couples are pursuing each other—getting the balance and pace right is key. Here are five major mistakes to watch out for:

1. Overstepping with "control": Don’t use "replies" as an excuse to cross boundaries
   A polite response from them doesn’t mean they’re okay with you invading their space. If a few nice chats make you think "things are heating up," and you start meddling in their life—like asking, "Why did you reply so late?" or "Who were you talking to?"—or even demanding they check in like you’re already their girlfriend, it’ll only make them feel smothered.
   Key point: Relationships take time. Before you’re official, respecting their space matters more than rushing to get close.

2. Confusing "the urge to share" with "closeness": Not everyone wants to hear your daily details
   Thinking "I’ll treat her like a good friend" can sometimes secretly kill the romance. Sharing every little thing too early—from "I had soy milk for breakfast" to "My coworker wore an ugly coat"—might seem like bonding, but it can just make them feel overwhelmed.
   Truth: Sharing feels nice only if there’s already a spark. Without that, your daily updates might just sound like noise to them.

3. Overthinking the relationship: Don’t use "enthusiasm" to pressure their feelings
   Questions like "She smiled at me—does she like me?" or "We talked for two hours—are we almost dating?" can make you lose your sense of limits. If you keep saying things like "Let’s be together" or "Do you like me?" or get upset when they hang out with others, you’ll just show how anxious you are—and make them want to leave.
   Reminder: Relationships grow naturally. Every step from friends to partners needs both people to agree, not just one person pushing.

4. Talking nonstop: Too much eagerness becomes a burden
   Starting conversations is good, but chatting endlessly can backfire. If their replies get shorter and more half-hearted (like going from "I saw a great art show today" to "Hmm" or "Okay") but you keep rambling, it’ll drain them.
   Tip: Pay attention to how they act. Stopping when you should is not just respectful—it’s smart to keep a little mystery.

5. Hiding your feelings too much: Being too shy can make you miss chances
   Avoiding them because you’re scared they’ll figure out you like them, or acting cold when you want to reach out, can stall the relationship. The truth is, when you start chats or plan meetups, they probably already know you’re interested. Hiding it too much will just make them think you’re not sincere.
   Balance trick: Be open about being nice (like saying "I enjoy talking to you")—no need for big gestures. Sincere, natural praise is more charming than playing hard to get.

The worst thing in relationships is replacing "understanding their feelings" with "feeling proud of your own efforts." To avoid these mistakes, just remember: don’t overestimate how far the relationship has gone, and don’t underestimate your own appeal. Be honest, take it easy, and you’ll find it easier to connect.