Love Yourself First
It’s not easy for us lesbians to find a truly compatible relationship. But the more we cherish it, the easier we lose ourselves — changing habits to please someone, swallowing feelings to avoid fights, giving up hobbies just to be around her.
The truth is, healthy love starts with loving yourself first. If you don’t love and respect yourself, how can you have a relationship that’s honest, equal, and not draining? Loving someone while staying true to you is what makes love last.
Love yourself first: set clear boundaries
Loving yourself starts with knowing your bottom line. This isn’t selfish — it’s a safe line that keeps both people comfortable.
If you don’t want to be lied to, aren’t ready to come out, or hate being controlled, say it openly. Don’t hide what you need.
You two will be different: you might love staying home, she loves going out; you love romance, she prefers quiet. You don’t have to give in completely.
Find a balance, and be brave enough to say “no” when you need to. For example:
“I want to be with you, but I have important things this week — let’s meet on the weekend.”
Real respect comes from real honesty. Never give endlessly. Anyone who looks down on your dreams, takes over your time, or makes you abandon your plans does not truly love you.
Loving yourself means not settling for less.
Love yourself first: keep your own world
You are you first, and her partner second.
Don’t lose the hobbies you loved before dating — film photography, crafts, music, whatever makes you shine.
Set aside 1–2 hours every week just for yourself. That kind of joy is irreplaceable.
Don’t push away your best friends either. They’re your emotional support. Meet them sometimes, so you don’t put all your weight on your partner.
Keep your goals too: exams, career growth, new skills. Don’t put them on hold for love. Let her support you, not stop you.
When you keep your own life and keep growing, you become more confident — and that makes your relationship stronger.
Love yourself first: stand on your own
Many of us start depending too much on our partner’s opinion after getting together. Only feeling good when she praises you? That’s too fragile.
Real confidence means accepting who you are — the good and the not-so-good — without pretending to be someone else.
Fill your life: read, learn, grow inside. Then you won’t feel small or lost in love.
Learn to enjoy being alone too. Talk to yourself, know what you really want. Don’t rely on her for every happy moment. That’s how you both stay relaxed.
Love yourself first: speak your needs
Don’t just “keep quiet and bear it.” Thinking “if she loves me, she should know” only builds resentment.
If you feel worried when she’s busy without texting, say it. If you care about anniversaries, tell her.
Don’t be a people-pleaser. If spicy food hurts your stomach, or staying up late makes you tired, speak up.
Love is two-way. You care for her — and you must let her care for you too.
Final message
For lesbians, “love yourself first” is not just a phrase. It’s the most responsible choice you can make for your heart.
When you stay true to yourself, you love fully and attract someone who truly values you.
Good love makes you more whole — not less.
And you don’t have to do this alone.
LesPark is a warm community made just for lesbians — we get your confusion, your hopes, your need to be seen.
Here, you don’t have to pretend or shrink. You’ll find sisters who understand loving yourself first:
When you’re lost, you can share your doubts.
When you’re lonely, you’ll find people who respect your space.
When you’re ready for love, you’ll meet someone who also believes in self-love.
No judgment, only understanding. No pressure, only support.
May every lesbian remember:
Love yourself before you love anyone else.
May you find your people, love bravely, and live proudly — and find real, steady happiness.
