Emergency Guide to Avoid Awkward Chats on Lesbian Dating Apps
Have you ever had that frustrating moment? You match with a girl you like on a dating app, type and delete messages in the chat box—you write "Hi" three times but still can’t hit send. Finally, you summon the courage to say, "The cat in your post is so cute," only to get a "Thanks" in reply, leaving the conversation totally dead. You want to keep chatting, but you’re scared asking "Are you a T or P?" is offensive, and bringing up hobbies feels risky—ultimately, you just watch the chat fade away, cursing yourself for being "so bad at talking!"
But here’s the truth: You don’t need to panic! Chatting between lesbians isn’t about having "perfect lines"—it’s about "finding common ground." I asked over a dozen girls who met their best friends or even partners through dating apps, and summed up a super practical emergency guide. From opening lines to keeping the conversation going, beginners can follow it step by step!
Step 1: Start Without Awkwardness—3 "Safe" Openers to Use Directly
The key to a good opener isn’t being "impressive"—it’s giving the other person something to respond to. The safest way is to pull clues from their profile—these three directions work every time:
Talk about their "active shares"—Posts/interests are goldmines
No one minds talking about things they chose to share. For example, if they posted photos of their handmade pottery, don’t just say "It’s nice"—dig into details: "The texture on this mug is so unique—did you intentionally make it that way? I tried pottery once, and mine cracked completely after firing." Specific compliments + a little bit of your own experience make it easy for them to keep the conversation going.
Bring up "local connections"—A trick to get closer
If they listed your city, this topic feels instantly friendly. You could say: "Turns out you’re in Chengdu too! I went to that women-friendly café on Yulin Road last week—such a great vibe. Have you been there?" Or "There aren’t many lesbian offline meetups here—do you know any reliable events?" This not only starts the chat but also lays the groundwork for future in-person meetings.
Show "gentle curiosity"—Respect boundaries without overstepping
If their profile has unique tags (like "cosplay" or "baking enthusiast"), ask politely out of curiosity: "I saw you’re into cosplay—I’ve always wanted to try it! How do you usually pick out your outfits?" Or "I keep burning my cookies when I try to bake. You said you bake often—do you have a foolproof recipe for beginners?" Asking for advice shows respect and satisfies their desire to share.
Step 2: Keep the Chat Going—2 Tips for Back-and-Forth Conversation
Many people can start a chat but struggle to keep it alive. Just remember two key points: "ask for details" and "share about yourself," and the conversation will flow naturally.
Turn "closed-ended questions" into "open-ended ones"—Don’t make them just say "Yes/No"
This is the biggest mistake! For example, if they say "I love cycling," don’t ask "Do you go often?" (They can only reply "Yes" or "No.") Instead, ask for details: "What routes do you usually take? I’m new to cycling—any gear recommendations?" Switching from "Is it…?" to "What/How/Why…?" gives them room to elaborate.
"Pick up the conversation + throw it back"—Interaction is key
Chatting isn’t a one-man show—learn to "acknowledge, share, and ask." For example, if they say "I cycled on the suburban greenway this weekend—the scenery was amazing," the right response is: "Wow! I’ve always wanted to go but was scared it’d be tiring. How long does the one-way ride take? Last time I tried cycling around the lake on a shared bike, I ended up carrying it halfway!" First, acknowledge their comment ("scenery was amazing"), share your own experience ("carrying it halfway"), then ask a question ("how long does it take")—they’ll definitely keep the chat going.
Step 3: Red Flag Alert—3 Things You Should Never Say
No matter how well the chat is going, these mistakes will kill the mood instantly. These are the "off-limits" lines summed up by girls—avoid them at all costs:
Don’t ask labeling questions: "Are you a T or P?" / "How long have you liked girls?"
Gender expression is diverse, and these are personal questions. Asking them right after matching feels intrusive and defensive. A friend of mine got blocked just for asking this.
Don’t grill them with personal questions: "How old are you?" / "What do you do for work?" / "Where do you live?"
Asking these right after matching feels like an interrogation—no one likes it. Chat about hobbies first to build rapport; these details will come up naturally as you get closer.
Don’t come on too strong: "I think we’re perfect for each other" / "I like you"
Relationships take time to develop. Saying these too soon puts huge pressure on the other person, and you’ll probably scare them off.
Final Thought: Good Chats Are Always "Mutual"
At the end of the day, the key to chatting on dating apps isn’t "saying the right thing"—it’s "making the other person feel heard." If you genuinely engage with their interests, they’ll naturally want to hear about yours, and the conversation won’t feel tiring.
If you haven’t figured it out yet, I highly recommend trying LesPark! As a dating app exclusively for lesbians, it’s easier to find common ground with other girls here:
The topic section is full of people sharing "icebreaker tips"—you can borrow their ideas;
The local section lets you connect with like-minded girls in your area—meet up for exhibitions or craft workshops once you hit it off;
Share interest-based content on the app to get closer to someone you’re chatting with.
Don’t be scared of being "bad at talking," and don’t force yourself to "fit in quickly." On LesPark, there’s always a group of like-minded sisters waiting for you. Sometimes, a simple "You like that café too?" is all it takes to start a comfortable relationship.
