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Am I Bisexual or Lesbian?

Apr. 02, 2024, 10:52 AM Release

Why am I so confused about whether I'm bisexual or lesbian?

If you're confused about whether you're lesbian, bisexual, or something else, know that you're not alone! For many people, this can be a very confusing and complicated journey. ​

The root of this problem largely stems from growing up in a heterosexual-dominated social environment. In this society, heterosexuality is taken for granted as the norm and mainstream tendency, and this concept is instilled in us. Therefore, when an individual's sexual orientation deviates from socially expected gender roles, it becomes particularly difficult to identify and accept one's own sexual orientation.

Lesbian and bisexual are two different sexual orientation identities, but for some people, choosing the label that best suits them can be challenging. Remember, there’s no need to feel pressure to label yourself, and many people even prefer to use more inclusive labels like “queer” or “pansexual.”


What is the difference between lesbianism and bisexuality?

The term “lesbian” applies to cisgender, transgender, or non-binary individuals who are sexually attracted to other women. "Bisexual" refers to people who are attracted to people of different gender groups (to learn more about bisexuality, bisexual diversity, and bisexual dating, click here). The line between the two is sometimes difficult to draw clearly due to prejudices and stereotypes in society.

For example, female bisexuality is often misunderstood and considered to be a stage of transition to lesbianism or a reservation of male preference. At the same time, the image of lesbians is often one-sided and traditionally presented as masculine characteristics, but in fact, anyone can be gay regardless of appearance.

How do I know if I'm bisexual or lesbian?

When you're trying to determine whether you're bisexual or lesbian, you need to be wary of the influence of hegemonic heterosexist culture, which may unconsciously pressure us to conform to heterosexual norms. Although these influences are deeply ingrained, the following may be common inner experiences of lesbians regarding their sexual orientation:

  1. Only attracted to unavailable men (such as gay men, celebrities, or fictional characters).

  2. Believe that one's own attractiveness can be artificially selected and controlled, such as choosing a favorite crush.

  3. Have had a crush on men, but when they expressed their feelings of affection, they felt uncomfortable or repulsed.

  4. Feeling displeased or repelled by the thought of intimacy with men.

  5. This culminates in a general insecurity about masculinity, a resistance to the idea of a romantic relationship with a man, and an inability to imagine true happiness with a man.

It is important to note that past experience with men does not negate the possibility of becoming a lesbian, and similarly, attraction to women does not preclude some degree of attraction to men at the same time. If you identify as bisexual, you don't have to stick to some preset standard, such as having to be equally attracted to men and women. Furthermore, being bisexual does not necessarily mean you have to accept a gender binary framework.

Everyone’s inner experience is different, and paying attention to your actual attraction to different types of people can help you dig deeper into your true feelings about yourself. In this process, it is crucial to respect individual differences and allow yourself to gradually reveal your true emotional orientation. View Lespark Domestic Lala people here.

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